


Dust and Gold

by mrmoop



Series: Dust and Gold [1]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creepy Matoba, Fluff and Angst, Funny Nyanko, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Light Bondage, Manipulation, Minor Original Character(s), Moderate Violence, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Nyanko-sensei loves Natsume, Original Character Death(s), Panic Attacks, Some Humor, and Natsume loves Nyanko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-05 16:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12193341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrmoop/pseuds/mrmoop
Summary: "Those without claws perish, and those without wants gain nothing."Matoba wants Natsume to join his clan, and once he wants something, he doesn't stop until he gets it.





	1. (Not so) Quiet Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally posted on Fanfiction.net) I had written this story a long time ago so excuse my not as good writing. I did edit it so hopefully it's a little better. Will be a two part series and the second piece has much better writing so thanks for bearing with me.

"Takashi-kun! Dinner!" shouted Touko from downstairs.

Natsume looked up from his homework as Nyanko-sensei bolted out the door. "Squuuiiiiiiiid….!"

Natsume gave a small chuckle and stood. But there was a tap on his window.

"Natsume-sama…" said a thin-faced ayakashi wearing black robes.

"Would you like me to-" Natsume began.

"Return my name please…" finished the ayakashi.

Natsume sighed. "Can you wait until after I'm finished eating? Touko-san will wonder where I am."

"Do as you must…" he said and the thin face faded into the dark.

_Ever since he was small he has sometimes seen strange things. As it seems other people cannot see them they are most likely what you would call ayakashi._

They ate dinner with laughter. And with Nyanko-sensei indulging in his fourth helping, Natsume felt himself full.

"Thank you for dinner."

"It was my pleasure Takashi-kun. If you don't have you're strength you won't do well in school!" She covered her mouth and laughed. Natsume smiled.

"She's right Takashi," said Shigeru, "you're so thin. You need good food."

Natsume turned to his side and saw Nyanko-sensei smirking happily at him.

"Twig boy…" he muttered.

"Well you're fat!" Natsume shouted back.

Touko and Shigeru looked at him, confused why he was yelling at the cat.

"I mean... I have to finish my homework!"

Natsume ran off with Nyanko-sensei following close behind.

Touko and Shigeru exchanged confused glances.

"Sensei! Look what you've done!"

Sensei trotted to the closet. "That was you're fault, twig boy!"

"Are you going to start calling me that now?"

"Yep!" replied Nyanko-sensei, pulling out a bottle of sake from behind the door.

Natsume put his hand over his face. "Of course you are."

TAP TAP TAP.

Natsume looked back to the window and saw the thin-faced ayakashi once again.  _Oh yeah,_ he thought,  _I almost forgot_. He walked over and opened his window. Sensei, who was drowning down sake, looked over as Natsume blew the name back to its owner.

"WAAHH! Giving away another name!"

"Thank you Natsume-sama…" said the youkai as he faded away once more. Natsume fell onto his side.

Nyanko sensei walked over and hit him three times with his paw. "One of these days I'll grow tired of you and swallow you whole!"

"You'll have to stop drinking long enough first," he retorted.

An increasingly drunk Madara who happened to be cradling his sake from the same spot he'd been in previously looked up. "Hmph..."

 _Returning names to youkai is always so tiring_ , he thought. He crawled to his mattress and collapsed onto it, his eyes becoming heavier each passing moment.

* * *

 

_Natsume was running through the forest again. Something was chasing him. A youkai? Yes, it was most certainly a youkai, but it felt different somehow. It felt familiar, terrifyingly familiar. It was catching up, he could hear and feel it behind him, coming closer every moment…_

Natsume woke with a start.  _It was just a dream_ , he thought, relaxing, but only slightly. There was something in the air. That familiar feeling he felt in his dream. What was it? He looked all around his room. His eyes passing over his desk, his closet, the corners of his room so dark it was almost unnatural. At first he thought them to be shadows, but then they moved. The white-robed shiki of Matoba flew towards him.

Natsume jumped from his bed. "Sensei!" he shouted. But Sensei did not wake up. The stupid pig-cat had drunk too much this time. Natsume shook him.

"Nyanko-sensei!" but it wasn’t working..

The shiki turned towards Natsume and lunged. Pulling his arm back, Natsume hit the youkai in the face, shattering his mask, but from behind a black arm wrapped around his neck and pulled. He was being dragged to the open window. Natsume choked but couldn't shout for help. The other one was now standing and picked up Natsume's legs to assist the other. He tried to struggle, but he couldn't breathe, and the room was turning dark. His head was spinning. Then everything went black. Matoba's shiki dragging his limp body outside.


	2. Cold Eyes

Natsume shifted in his sleep, uncomfortable. He was not at home in his bed, he knew that much. Suddenly his eyes shot open. It was an unfamiliar place, but this feeling he knew all too well. His hands bound above his head, he tugged at the rope. It wouldn't move even a millimeter.

"Hello, Natsume-kun."

Natsume jumped, startled. He knew this voice. "Matoba…"

Matoba stood from a small chair in the corner of the small grey room. It was empty besides that, Matoba, and Natsume himself.

"I didn't even have to wait very long for you to wake up." He stood and walked slowly towards the boy on the ground.

"What do you want?" Natsume asked, voice faltering. His stomach felt as though he was falling through air, speeding towards ground.

"You should know by now, Natsume-kun." A sly smile spread across his face as Natsume swallowed. "What I want is for you to join the Matoba clan," he leaned over him, "Poor, poor boy... So alone, misunderst-“

"No," said Natsume firmly and with a bite to his voice.

Matoba did not look surprised, his smirk never leaving.

"No," Natsume repeated more quietly.

The man looked at the boy's young face. Holding a strange expression, one of fear yet also of resolve.

"You still side with the youkai, after all they've done to you?" he asked.

"I don't side with youkai… And I don't side with people… I try to help who I can, human or not."

"And yet you are so stubborn to help me…"

Natsume eyes widened momentarily in surprise, then it changed to anger. "Why should I help a cruel person like you, when you use me to hurt others and advance your own selfish goals?"

Matoba, not taking his eyes off the boy's face, knelt down close to Natsume, who flinched away. "My goal is simply to help people. Youkai are merely obstacles to that goal."

 _Obstacles?_  Natsume thought angrily. "Youkai are not obstacles!"

"I suppose you are thinking of your pet, aren't you? Grown rather fond of it?"

Natsume's mind couldn't help but return to the last time Matoba had hurt Nyanko-sensei. It could have been worse. Much worse…

"It seems you still do not understand the nature of ayakashi. But you cannot stay so naïve forever," Matoba held his palm out, a devilish smile on his face, "Life has a way of teaching you things…" A shiki rested a medium sized pot in Matoba's outstretched hand.

Natsume opened his mouth, trying to understand the situation, to speak, to protest, but nothing came out. He watched the man rip one seal off the pot, then another.  _What is this?_  Natsume thought uneasily.

Matoba took off the final seal and placed the pot on the ground before walking towards the door.

"You're about to see the true nature of your so-called friends." And he shut the door behind him.

The pot trembled in front of him, and with Matoba out of the room Natsume began pulling at his restraints. The trembling became greater and Natsume struggled more desperately. His wrists were chafing, but he tugged hysterically. The pot in front of him stopped moving, and he paused as well, waiting without daring to breathe. Then the lid burst off.

Matoba listened outside the door as Natsume shouted. The voices of malevolent ayakashi sounded in the room. A twisted smile appeared on his face as he heard the shouts grow louder and more desperate. He straightened and looked at his servant. "Make sure they leave him alive," he said coldly, and walked away.

* * *

 

Nyanko-sensei woke up to the sound of pattering feet in the hallway.

He opened a single eyelid "Mm?"

"Shigeru, I'm calling the police!" Shouted the woman from downstairs.

"Wait, let me check outside again!" said the man. There were more quick footsteps.

 _Caught by another youkai, Natsume?_  thought Sensei,  _stupid twig boy_. Yawning, he walked to the suspiciously open window and sniffed. Sensei suddenly stiffened. He knew the smell.

"Natsume!" he shouted leaping through the window. He turned into his other form and flew off after the scent.


	3. Worry

Matoba looked at the clock on the wall. "I wonder how the boy is doing."

The sounds coming from inside the room had decreased significantly. Matoba opened the door and three very large youkai were before him. He muttered the words of the seal and they were sucked back into the pot. He finally looked at the boy. He was covered in scratches and bruises, blood was smeared on the ground in front of his unmoving body.

"Natsume-kun," he called softly. Natsume did not stir. He exhaled sharply. "You would not listen."

Matoba walked to him and knelt down once more. He picked up the boy's chin and pulled it towards him. Natsume gave a small moan, and Matoba immediately let go.

A human servant came from the hallway.

"See to it that his wounds are dressed, do not medicate him," he commanded.

"Yes Master," he bowed.

* * *

 

"No!" shouted Natsume, waking up in terror. He looked around, breathing heavily, sweating profusely.

"You see what they've done to you, Natsume-kun?"

Natsume could barely hear the man. He stared at the blood stained floor, his eyes open wide, his chest rising and falling faster than air could be taken in. The pain just to inhale intensifying with every rapid breath.

"I said, look what they've done to you."

Something sparked in him and he looked up. "You did this! You hurt me!"

"No, no dear boy. I merely released them. Set them free. Something you would have wanted. They were simply doing what they desired. It is their nature."

Natsume couldn't seem to control his breath. Anger welled up inside him until tears were pushing from behind his eyes.

"What exactly did they do to you, Natsume-kun?" He walked over, and Natsume stared fearfully, still unable to calm down. Matoba leaned over and touched his wounded cheek.

"They bruised that soft skin of yours…"

Natsume pulled away sharply.

"Still resisting me." Matoba smiled coyly. "Perhaps it's time you should learn another lesson." Natsume felt warm air against his ear as Matoba leaned closer. "I am your only friend."

Natsume kicked out his legs and Matoba’s shiki flew in to hold them down before they could hit their master. He pulled and kicked but it did nothing, the youkai pinning his legs to the floor.

"Youkai hurt you, and normal humans don't understand."

Angry tears appeared on Natsume's face. He had nothing to say, but so much to say at the same time. He clenched his teeth but it only made Matoba chuckle.

"I am your only friend," he said in a low voice. Matoba felt satisfaction. He'd hoped the boy would simply fall into place, decide he wanted to become a part of the clan, but then again, this was more fun. The boy would learn, even if it must be the hard way.

* * *

 

"Madara," shouted Hinoe with surprise. "What are you doing here so early in the morning? Shouldn't you have a hangover?"

"This is not the time for stupid questions. Natsume's in trouble."

"Natsume?" she repeated.

"Yes, he's been kidnapped by Matoba. I really might just tear that man into pieces this time."

"What can I do?"

"Tell me where they are staying. I've lost the scent."

Hinoe's worried face lit. "I can't be sure, but I've heard rumors that he's settled in the Eastern forest. No one is sure why. It's caused quite a stir."

"The Eastern forest?..." Madara repeated. He jumped up, ready to fly.

"Wait!" shouted Hinoe. "I'm coming with you!"

Madara stopped and bent low for her to climb on him. And they flew off.


	4. Confrontation

The youkai in the area were trying to get inside the house. They crashed into barrier after barrier. Matoba pictured the blood smeared on the floor.

 _Is your blood really so powerful, Natsume-kun?_ He asked himself.  _The youkai are throwing themselves at you just for a taste…_

"Clean up the mess on the floor," he told a nearby servant. "And hurry. I would like to enter."

"Yes Master," he replied.

"Seiji," came a woman's voice from behind him. Matoba turned around to face her. "Are you sure we need the boy for this?" asked Nanase.

"Yes, and believe me, our work will become much easier once he joins us," he replied, staring at the door, behind which lay Natsume.

"How can you be so sure?" Her eyes almost blank, yet something sparked in them. Curiosity perhaps.

"He will. I just need a little more time with him." he shot a smile back at Nanase.

"You know your status can only protect you so much," her voice became grave. "If you don't have a plan for the law, I'm afraid the clan will not be able to help you."

Matoba smirked. "I have a plan."

"And what is that exactly?" Her proud eyes stared at him.

"Matoba-sama," said the servant exiting the room, "It is ready for you sir."

"I'm afraid we'll have to finish our conversation at a later time, Nanase." He smiled and slipped through the door.

"Hmph," she breathed.

"Natsume-kun."

Natsume opened his eyes, though he did not want to. The thought of sleep was comforting, but the thought of sleep while being watched was another feeling entirely. There he was, his dark figure hovering over him.

"Have you come to your senses yet?"

Natsume's head began to clear and he could see better. But he didn't answer.

"You see, normally I wouldn't like to rush you, but there is something very important that must be handled sooner rather than later. Something I need your help with." Matoba stared eagerly for his answer.

Natsume hung his head low. "Matoba," he said quietly. There was something different in his voice, something new. Matoba looked at the boy to find that he was now staring him in the eye without wavering. Natsume resumed speaking with Matoba's full attention. "You are a cruel man. One who sees things that he wants, and digs his claws into them. You are trying to dig your claws into me, and maybe a year ago I would have let you. But my skin is stronger now, and my heart is wiser. I can see those who have claws and those who are like me. At one point I tried to shut everyone out, claws or not. And then I tried letting everything in, but that didn't work either. I think I have found the balance now, of letting the good in and keeping the bad out. And I find the strength to do this through the ones I love, and the ones who love me in return. You said you were my only friend, Matoba, but that was a lie, and you knew it. It seems that you are the one without friends. You are the one who must kidnap and hurt in order to keep people close to you. I have the strength of many people, people who stand behind me and are crying for my absence. You barely have the strength of half."

Matoba's lip twitched. Never had he felt so unsettled in his life, so speechless, so out of control. His hands clenched, his teeth clenched, lips shut tightly as he tried to open them to speak, to say something clever that would contradict the boy, that would make that light in his eyes disappear. But his mouth wouldn't open. His heart began beating faster, Natsume just sat there without even the slightest hint of fear. He sat there with his hands above his head, blood surely drained from them, arms surely numb, but still looked at him with strength, with pity even. Matoba had never felt this way in his life. Embarrassed, like his pride had been threatened. He couldn't just stand there like an idiot. Trying to make up his mind, he flew forward and slapped Natsume's cheek. He gave a small yelp as the palm stung his face, but turned back to Matoba with the same look.

Matoba wasn't satisfied; the small cry hadn't been enough. He slapped the boy again, harder. This time he merely grunted quietly, and this only succeeded in angering Matoba further. He grabbed Natsume's bloody collar and pulled him up, causing his arms to bend behind him backwards and the boy let out another cry. His face now twisted in pain. The anger wasn't fading, and Matoba pulled him up higher, and this time he cried out louder, his cry turning into grunts of pain that seemed to feed him but not satisfy, and he pulled once more, eliciting a cracking sound.

Natsume shrieked this time, crying out at what must be dislocated shoulders. And Matoba still wasn't happy.  _Why wasn't it working?_  He looked down at the boy's contorted body, chest pushed out to relieve the stress on his arms which were pulled almost straight back by the rope. Matoba let go and Natsume fell to the floor, landing harshly. The boy cried out with each heavy breath, gritting his teeth at the agonizing burning in his shoulders.

Matoba shook, but words finally found him. "This is real life, boy. This is what it feels like. Those without 'claws', perish, and those without wants gain nothing. You yourself have these 'claws', but are so irritatingly adverse to using them. I will teach you. Your ideas of strength are weak-minded, and they are what allowed me to catch you in the first place. Relying on that drunken cat of yours to save you, and here you are. I was not lying. You have no friends, Natsume. Do you know why?"

Natsume looked up painfully at him, still breathing deeply.

"Because I have sent a youkai to your home. It has probably finished it's job by now."

Natsume's eyes grew. "Wha... what... did you do?" His voice steadily getting louder. "Wh-what  _job_?"

Matoba was finally able to smile again. "I didn't kill them. I didn't do anything to them in fact. It was that youkai."

"What did you  _do_!" he shouted, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"I told you. I did nothing. That youkai, though. It likes to eat humans' hearts."

Natsume felt as though he was choking. "To... Touko-san..." he whispered, "Shi..."

Matoba leaned forward. "Where are your friends now, Natsume-kun?"

Natsume's head snapped up. Rage boiling his blood he pulled out towards him as if he weren’t restrained, as if he could somehow attack the man, causing another loud crack as his shoulders were pulled. He shrieked and fell back, brow sagging further, and he began to sob.

Matoba stared at him with a small grin. He turned. "You will learn," he whispered half-heartedly, thinking that if he spoke it out loud, his confidence might convince him he was correct. And he left. He closed the door to Natsume's sobs. Standing in the hall he began to feel unsteady again. Matoba would never kill a human, not directly by his orders at least. But the boy had believed him. He believed his surrogate parents were dead. He felt unsure of himself for the first time. No, he wasn't wrong, not about this, not about anything. He walked away from the screams that might have been pleasing to him, had he not felt such an disturbed feeling in the pit of his stomach.


	5. The Rescue

Madara and Hinoe flew through the skies until they reached a relatively small mansion.

"There's a powerful barrier around it," said Madara.

"Knowing Matoba it won't be easily broken," replied Hinoe.

"We'll see about that," and he pushed forward with great speed, the mark on his forehead glowing.

And the next thing they knew they were on the ground with Madara covering his aching head with his giant paws.

"Well that didn't work Madara."

He shot her a sarcastic look.

* * *

 

Matoba wore a seal on his chest, so that he could stay and watch this time, as the three youkai from the pot attacked their target. They pulled on his hair and legs and scratched and hit, licking the blood off their hands.

"More. More!" they shouted, and Matoba stared on in silence, that smirk on his face. Natsume tried to bear the pain in silence, but every once in a while it would be impossible.

 _This is an improvement_ , Matoba thought.  _He no longer objects_.

As if he’d heard his thoughts, Natsume looked up with aching eyes, but they bared the same expression as they had before. This time perhaps more angry and sad, but there was that look of pity, even as the ayakashi berated him with pain. Matoba's mouth twitched and he whispered the seal, summoning the youkai back to their pot.

"You tried reasoning with them, did you not?"

Natsume did not respond, only his eyes did.

"You asked them to stop. You told them you had helped their kind before, but all they wanted was to hurt.

"I tried to reason with you too, Matoba."

This caught him off-guard and he almost lost it again, but he pushed it away, to the back of his throat and down into his stomach as he swallowed.

"And I am a man of reason. I will listen when you tell me what I want to hear."

"You will go this far just for my help? You would murder two innocent people?!" His voice began to rise. "What did the Fujiwaras ever do to you?!" He was yelling now. And then he began to cry again.

"Did you really think I would murder humans?"

Natsume looked up with tears streaming down his face. "Wha-"

"That youkai I sent to your house steals memories, not lives. The Fujiwaras have no heart for you anymore. They don't even know your name," he said coldly.

Natsume didn't know what to think. Did it hurt more now than when he thought they were gone? "You're lying." Surely he was. There was no way the Fujiwaras could forget him. They were the only ones who had wanted him.

Matoba laughed. "You believe me when you think they were killed but not when I say they forgot you?"

Natsume clenched his teeth.

"You have nowhere to go now."

"They will remember!" he shouted. "I'll make them remember."

"You are so sure of yourself. Fine. I will let you go, and you will see. And when you crawl back to me I will happily accept you into my arms."

Natsume shuddered as the man walked towards him, pulling out a knife.

* * *

 

"We've got to come up with a plan," said Hinoe.

"Who are you? Miss let's state the obvious?" shouted Madara, but Hinoe wasn't looking at him, she was looking out towards the mansion, her eyes wide.

"Wh…" but he stopped. "Natsume…"

There he was, rips in his clothes and skin, dried and new blood, walking defeated just left of where they were, out the front door.

"Natsume… Natsume! Over here!" shouted Hinoe. He looked up and there they were. He started towards them, limping faster, but they could not do the same. They stayed just past the barrier, waiting for him. "Nyanko…"

"Natsume," Madara muscles tightened as he looked more closely at him.

"What did he do to you?" asked Hinoe reaching towards him with a slender hand.

Natsume just stood there, his eyes barely able to look at their feet, when he wanted to see their faces, and yet, didn't want them to see his. His mouth spread wide with clenched teeth, his eyebrows sagged. "Nyanko-sensei," he finally managed to gasp. And he fell onto the giant furry shoulder, gripping the fur in his fists, burying his face.

Madara rested his head on the boy, Hinoe watching with a hand over her mouth.

"I almost believed him, sensei," he sobbed. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I'm going to tear him to pieces," said the dreadfully low voice.

"Not now," Hinoe whispered, and Madara understood. "Let's get Natsume out of here."

And the crying stopped. Nyanko-sensei pulled up his head and Natsume slid to the ground unconscious.

* * *

 

He woke up with the wind blowing in his face, a hand running gently through his tangled hair.

"Hinoe-san…" he whispered seeing her face.

"Rest now, Natsume. We're taking you home."

The word brought comfort to him, until he remembered Matoba's words. His eyes became wide and he sat up, sharp stinging shooting through his shoulders. "He's erased their memories,” he said biting back his pain. “Hinoe, is this possible?" He looked at her with pleading eyes, willing the answer to be no.

"Memories…"

"He said he sent a youkai that eats human hearts."

Hinoe's expression fell. "It is possible. I've heard of youkai that do this-"

"You've encountered one yourself, Natsume," came Madara's deep voice. "When you visited your father's house."

Natsume stared at him blankly, eyes still wide.

Hinoe stepped in. "Rest, Natsume. Whatever has happened to your caretakers will be in our hands. We are better equipped to deal with the work of ayakashi, no?" She pushed him gently back down.

"Can you undo it?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Natsume," she half smiled. "We don't even know if they have forgotten or not."

Eventually he fell back into sleep.


	6. Return

Natsume was still asleep when they arrived back at the house. Hinoe carefully laid him on the grass, then stood beside him as Madara returned to his cat form and walked to the door. He scratched and meowed at the door, until it finally opened. Touko-san was there, looking out, but saw nothing.

"Meoooww," said the fat pig-cat, and Touko-san looked down.

"Oh my, it's the kitty. Are you hungry?"

Nyanko-sensei nodded his head enthusiastically.  _No_! He must be strong. Food would come later. He walked out to Natsume and turned back, sitting next to him.

"Oh my…" she gasped. "Shigeru!" she called, and ran out to them. "There's a boy here! He's been hurt!"

"Oh no," whispered Hinoe.

"It seems that Matoba brat was telling the truth," said Nyanko-sensei irritably, with a faint undertone of gravity. He looked back at the sleeping boy.

When Natsume woke up, he looked around. This was his room as it had been before he'd been taken away, much more empty perhaps, but the same.

"Are you alright?" asked a concerned voice.

He recognized this voice, and it made him smile sadly, the bitter sweetness of being in pain, but of being taken care of for it.

"We found you outside, covered in cuts and bruises. The ambulance is on its way."

"Tou-" he started.

"Has the boy woken yet?" came Shigeru's voice from the door. Natsume stopped smiling.  _The boy?_

"You don't… you don't know who I am?" he asked with dread.

"Uh… n-no. I'm sorry."

This was Touko-san's face, this was her manner and her disposition. But part of her heart had been taken away. Natsume resisted the urge to cry. Even if she didn't remember who he was, he did not want to burden her with his sadness.

It was then that he felt a lump on his stomach that he hadn't noticed before.

"Nyanko sensei!" Natsume shouted.

"Aah!" replied the cat.

A shiki of Matoba appeared outside the door behind Shigeru. "AAHH!" they both screamed.

"What is it?" Touko-san asked, frightened.

"Nothing," said Natsume quickly. "I believe I hear sirens."

Touko looked back at her husband. "Go let them in. I'll stay here with him."

The shiki crept closer to Natsume. He didn't want her to get hurt. "Umm, can I have a glass of water, please?" he then asked.

"Of course," she answered promptly. "I'll be right back."

Natsume waited for her to leave the room, and then he began to sit up.

"I can protect you against this inferior creature, Natsume," said Nyanko-sensei and the mark on his forehead lit. The frightened youkai flew away.

"No. We're getting out of here," He stood. "More will come." He staggered to the window and opened it with great effort. Nyanko-sensei followed him obediently.

"It's not here yet…" shouted Shigeru running up the stairs, only to find an empty room. "Touko?"

* * *

 

Nyanko sensei led the way through the forest. "It should be safe here," he said confidently.

Natsume sat down and leaned back on his arms, only to cry out in pain.

"What's wrong?" Sensei jumped.

"My shoulders," he winced, and fell back now unsupported. Sensei sniffed them and poked them with his stubby paw.

"Ah," Natsume hissed.

"They might be dislocated or broken. I've asked Hinoe to obtain some youkai medicine. It should work much faster than human's."

"Thank you, Sensei." He smiled weakly. The cat walked over to him and cuddled up on his stomach as he had in the Fujiwara house, and Natsume petted his ear.

After a moment, the boy spoke. "Can we do anything, Sensei?"

"Hm?" He opened his eyes.

"The Fujiwaras. Can we do anything?"

Nyanko-sensei closed his eyes again. "There is a chance. Hinoe is also gathering information from other youkai, as I asked. She should be back soon."

Natsume nodded, though he realized the furry creature on his belly could not see it. He thought he should be more sad, he thought he should want to cry. But for some strange reason he felt content. He felt safe again, he felt hope for his caretakers, he felt surrounded.

Hinoe returned some time later, waking them both with a light shake. "I have medicine."

Natsume opened his eyes. Nyanko-sensei yawned and stretched, pushing his paws out against the fabric of his shirt. He grimaced, but tried not to make a noise.

"Open your mouth, Natsume," she said. He did, and she dropped a brown mush inside. It tasted like dirt and leaves, but he did not complain.

"Have you any news for us, Hinoe?"

She smiled. "Good news in fact. It turns out there is a way to return their memories."

Natsume sprang up, surprised by how good he felt, not only mentally, but physically. He was able to hold himself up.

"Not too fast. This medicine may be faster but it does not heal everything instantly."

"Tell us, Hinoe. What do we have to do?"

"We kill the youkai that did this, and the memories return."

Natsume hesitated at the words. Kill? He'd never wanted to do such a thing. Both saw the look on his face.

"I could do it Natsume. I have been feeling a little hungry," said Sensei.

Natsume shuddered. "I don't know… Is there any other way, Hinoe?" he asked turning to his right.

"I suppose you could exorcise it, not saying that wouldn't kill it though anyway."

"We know someone who could help us, Sensei."

The cat's eyes grew wide. "Nope, uh-uh. We are not working with that prissy, bratty-"

"We can stop and get steamed buns."

Nyanko-sensei paused. "Steamed buns?"

It was early evening and the walk was getting tiring.

"Natori-san's house should be right up the street," said Natsume. When they reached it there was a note on the door.

"Away for business," he read.

"This is a message only exorcists and ayakashi can see," said Sensei.

Hinoe put her hand on her chin. "How interesting…"

"I do know some exorcism," Natsume said, "things I learned from Natori. But-"

"You can do it Natsume," she smiled at him.

Natsume returned the smile. "How do we find it, though?"

"Perhaps this one you've met before."

Natsume looked at Sensei. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe you know its face. Maybe Reiko did too."

Natsume's eyes lit with understanding. "It's a shot in the dark, but…"

Hinoe looked at them confused.

"The book of friends, Hinoe," said Natsume hopefully.


	7. Another Returns

Sensei snuck into the house and came out some time later with the Book of Friends in his mouth.

"What took you so long?" asked Natsume as he grabbed it and they ran away.

"It wasn't where you left it stupid boy. They had thrown it away."

 _Thrown it away_ , Natsume thought sadly.  _It only makes sense I suppose._  Once they were back in the forest they stopped.

"Alright Natsume," said Sensei, "Picture the ayakashi from your friend's house.

Natsume held the Book of Friends and concentrated on the face hard, hoping it was the right one. The book started to react. The pages flipped in his hands until one piece of paper stood itself up.

"Ah," Hinoe shrieked delightedly.

"What's its name?"

"Takemiko."

Sensei began drawing out the circle in the ground.

"Hinoe," asked Natsume, "Do you have a mirror?" He smiled at her.

Hinoe blushed. "Damn it, why can't you be a woman?" She shouted. But then she was rubbing up against him. "Of course my Natsume-kun. Here's a mirror right here!"

Natsume was pushing her off of him while Sensei finished up the markings. "Stop messing around you two!"

"It wasn't me!" shouted Natsume, finally knocking Hinoe to the ground.

"I have a white kimono too, Natsume-kun," she said evilly. Then frowned when he merely put it on over his clothes instead of changing out of them.

"Alright, Natsume. You know what to do."

He nodded and stepped into the circle, biting into his thumb and dropping the blood onto the mirror.

" _Ye who must obey me, come to my side, by your name, Takemiko._ "

And with a great swirl of smoke the ayakashi appeared before him.

" _You_ ," it whispered. " _Let me have them. Give them to me."_

And it reached forward, before stopping abruptly with it's hand in front of the boy's face. "Stop," he had said, and it had to obey. "Return the Fujiwaras' memories."

" _I-I can't_ ," it said, struggling between the command and it's own abilities.

"Why not?"

" _I don't know how._ "

"We will have to exorcise it," said Hinoe.

"Or eat it," muttered the cat.

The youkai looked back at Natsume fearfully.

"We will exorcise you, Takemiko. However, if you know any information about how to do this, it will be more likely to end well for you."

The youkai hesitated, unsure if it should give him what he wanted.

"If we try to do it alone, we might accidently kill you," said Natsume gravely.

Finally it opened its large mouth. " _I know the ritual. Another has done this to me before and I remember clearly. I remember all things_."

It directed them and they listened carefully. Finally everything was ready and Natsume stood in the circle opposite the youkai. He clapped his hands together and spoke the words he'd been given. The ground beneath them lit up, as though light was under the earth and was trying to come out through each engraved line. Wind blew around them, and then there was a small cry, but the cries grew louder and more drawn out. Natsume looked up to see the youkai screaming in pain. He tried to stop, but his hands wouldn't come apart, no matter how hard he pulled.

"Sensei!" he shouted, as the ayakashi in front of him began to turn dry, his skin beginning to peel, his screams becoming weaker.

"Sensei!" he shouted again and Madara flew into the circle with Natsume, his forehead glowing. Madara was sent flying back against a tree, unconscious. Hinoe screamed and Natsume fell to the ground, feeling as if almost all the energy had been drained from his body. In front of him laid the dead youkai's ashen remains.

"Well that was interesting," said an all too familiar voice. One that brought about feelings of anxiety and nausea.

Natsume looked up as Hinoe walked out in front of him. "You are not touching this boy, Matoba." Her voice was nonchalant, yet steady and firm.

"Is that a threat?" he asked slyly. "Because you are quite outnumbered and relatively weak. I would be more concerned about you."

Hinoe huffed.

"It is quite a convenient surprise that your cat has gone and knocked himself out, isn't it? That wasn't even part of the plan." Matoba seemed to look past Hinoe's guarding body at Natsume himself.

"Wh…What plan?" He asked, fear slowly consuming him.

"You think I would just let you leave without a plan? Without keeping an eye on you so you wouldn't do anything stupid? You killed a youkai, Natsume-kun."

Natsume's eyes grew. "You wanted me to kill it…"

Matoba smiled. "And you did."

"Don't listen to him," said Hinoe forcefully.

Natsume felt his heart sinking, his neck alone was having difficulty holding his head up. His body was shaking.

"That's enough, Matoba," shouted Hinoe. "You're leaving now."

Matoba smirked. "I don't think I am. Not until I get what I came for." He shot a quick glance at the boy on the ground.

"Hinoe," he protested. "I don't want you to get hurt."

She turned around and gave him a smile. "Don't worry about me, Natsume. I-"

Bang, there was a flash of light and Hinoe was on the ground.

"Hinoe!" Natsume shouted, trying to stand.

"Stay back," she yelled, holding out her arm, as Matoba chanted another set of attacks. She jumped at the last moment and landed in a tree. He sent another, then another.

"Stop!" Natsume shouted, but they could not hear him. He struggled to his feet just as one managed to hit Hinoe backwards. She lay on the ground, and Matoba pulled out his bow and arrow, a piece of paper wrapped around it.

"NO!" He shouted once more, and Matoba finally stopped to look at him.

"Don't hurt her. Please," he begged.

Matoba's face twisted happily. "Will you come with us?"

Natsume looked at Hinoe. She was trying to get up. It took all her strength just to lift her head. "Don't go, Natsume."

Matoba pulled the bow taut.

"No! I'll go with you."

Matoba nodded to his human servants and they ran to Natsume as he fell to the ground. He was on his knees, and they pulled his arms behind his back tying them with the blistering rope. His head lolled back slightly, he looked at Hinoe, who continued her weak struggles to rise and keep fighting.

Natsume kept his eyes on his friends even as he was led away.

"Natsume..." she muttered before drifting into unconsciosness.


	8. Claws

"You never fail to surprise me, Natsume-kun."

Natsume didn't reply, wouldn't reply.

"You called upon a relatively powerful youkai back there."

He sat in the unfortunately familiar little room, with his hands tied behind his back. He felt angry, so angry. It took all of his strength just to hold his words inside him. And the longer he refused to speak, the more he felt bile pushing at his throat instead.  _Shut up. Shut up. Shut up._  Why couldn't he just shut up?

"And what's more, it disobeyed its master in the process, all because of that little book over there."

Natsume knew what he was pointing at, but refused to look.

"I found out about that little book just a few weeks back. I never realized it was strong enough to override my power." A small pause. "You killed that youkai, Natsume-kun," said Matoba with an eerie softness to his voice.

Natsume finally snapped up. "Because you planned it that way!" Never had he felt so much anger in his life. Fear, yes, sadness, yes. But anger had never been this strong. His chest rose and fell at a startling pace, and it frightened him, but he still could not let go of it. That smirk, those shadows for eyes, Hinoe lying on the ground helpless, the threats and the lies and the selfishness…

Matoba leaned forward, once again towering over him like a ghost the color of charcoal. "How did it feel? Holding a life in your hands and then squeezing."

Natsume stared out past the floor, anger turning into panic as his quickly beating heart and quickly breathing lungs went faster. And he tried to slow them, but the more he paid attention to his body, the more panicked he became.

"Calm down boy," said Matoba, sounding worried for the first time himself.

"I," breath, "can't," breath, "leave me," breath, "alone!" Everything was too fast. He felt dizzy.

"I said calm down!"

Matoba stood, realizing he had pushed too far. He pulled the door open and turned to the guard. "Sedate him."

The guard ran off and Matoba turned back to Natsume.

He was frightened, he was angry, he was hurt. There was a pain in his chest. A sharp pain that throbbed more at each breath.

Matoba pulled up the boy's chin against tense muscles with great effort, and looked in his eyes, examining them. A human man in a kimono rushed in holding a syringe while the other held Natsume's bound arms steady. The man stuck the needle in his arm with precision and within a few moments, Natsume's body began to visibly relax. The same could not be said for his eyes. The lids sagged slowly, the wrinkles in his face began to disappear, but his eyes looked the same if not paler.

"What did you do to him?" asked the worried medic.

Matoba took a step back defensively, and almost began to stutter, but stopped himself. "I would reconsider the question you just asked, nurse. Your job is to heal, not pry into matters that do not concern you."

The nurse looked away and grabbed his bag of supplies.

"And I didn't hear you asking questions when he was covered in bruises," said the dark-haired man with vehemence.

"I'm sorry. I was out of place."

Matoba watched as the man walked out of the room with his subordinate, then looked back at Natsume. The boy had fallen back against the wall, his head falling from side to side, mouth open, body still trying to breathe too quickly despite the drug telling it otherwise. And then he started to slip. His shoulders slid against the wall slowly at first, pulling his head down with them, then began to pick up speed. Matoba reached out and caught him before he could hit the ground and gently rested him down. His eyes were still slightly open, but not anywhere near present.

Matoba kept his one hand under his shoulder and the other under his head.

"Please…" words escaped his pale lips weakly. Matoba leaned forward slightly in earnest, wanting to know what he was going to say. "Leave… me alone."

And Matoba drew back. It was weird. The words had stung him. He could feel it in his chest. He looked at Natsume's face as it twisted in pain. He was not physically injured. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but that cat youkai had seen to his prompt healing. No, this was not physical pain that wrinkled the boy’s skin. But the two faces looked so very similar. He reached forward to touch his hair when the boy's mouth opened again. "Please…" it murmured. And Matoba remembered that Natsume did not want  _him_.

Matoba shook his head suddenly.  _I am becoming soft_ , he chuckled without humor. His eyes returned to the dark shadows they once had been as he composed himself. He did not need this boy's approval, he needed his loyalty. Whether it was through one mean or another what difference did it make to him whether the boy wanted it?

He turned around and sat in his chair, deciding to wait for him to awaken.

Had Natsume been lucid he would have felt uncomfortable. He would have flinched at the attempt of comforting. But he was already lost in his own world. Whether he would wake up completely was unknown even to Natsume himself.


	9. Shadows

Natsume’s dreams were often vivid. Usually due to the memories of youkai and his grandmother. But this was different. This sleep felt hazy, restless but still unable to come to. It felt shallow, like mere shadows of reality. It was uncomfortable, teetering on the edge between rest and wakefulness, and he wanted one or the other to find him. Then primal instinct began to pull. He smelled… food. Warm food with steam wafting up in front of his nose. He tried to follow, leave these blurry figures behind him. But when his eyes finally opened, the figures hadn't disappeared, they had merely become clearer. Matoba sat in the chair across him to his right.

"Eat," he said dryly.

Natsume found that he was lying down, something soft under his head. A pillow. He reached to touch it, but when he did he found his wrists free from rope. Slightly pink but free. Natsume sat up quickly realizing his chance but felt dizzy and swayed as he tried to stand.

"Don't try. You won't make it to the door, and that's without any intervention," his voice was calloused, and true. But Natsume kept trying to stand. He didn't want to be there. He felt sick, mouth closed tightly as he fell to the floor. Matoba looked on, no smirk, no glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

"Eat," he repeated.

"It's-"

"It's not drugged."

Natsume, while laying down felt his head beginning to return. "I… don't believe you."

Matoba felt offended, but hid it behind a blank stare. At that moment Natsume felt a quiet rumble in his stomach, and he put an arm to it.

"You're hungry, and you're no good to me unresponsive."

"You seemed fine with it a moment ago," said Natsume, surprised by the bitterness in his voice. He'd not heard such a tone come from his own mouth in a long time. He visibly withdrew himself. He did not want to become that again. He had to be strong. He had to remember the ones who loved him.  _Remember_. The youkai had died, but had it returned the memories?  _Touko-san, Shigeru-san…_

"Natsume?"

He glanced up surprised. He'd never heard Matoba speak his name like that before. He’d never heard his name come out of that mouth without undertones of over-familiarity, of overstepping boundaries.

"What do you want?" asked Natsume quietly.

Matoba paused for a moment. "I've told you what we want-"

"No," he said strongly, and exhaled. "What is this situation you need my help with?"

Natsume was not looking at him, sullenness and resignation written on his face.

"So you are willing to help us," almost a question but not quite.

"That's not what I said," he spoke again. "I asked you what you need help with."

The man stared, unsure what to think. Once again this boy had caught him speechless. He hesitated, apprehensive to whether he should tell him bits and pieces as he had originally planned, or just the truth.

He sighed. "There is a large youkai inhabiting a village on this side of the mountain. It seeks to drive everyone out of their homes to keep the land for itself, and has partially succeeded already. It poisoned a large amount of their water supply, and many have gotten sick. This poison is that of youkai, and the treatment is that of youkai as well."

Natsume stayed very still, taking in everything the man said in silence. "And you can't help this village without me?"

"It has proven to be very difficult. The youkai is hard to track for its abilities in hiding spiritual aura. Someone with your power may be able to sense it."

Natsume still did not look up. "This is all you wanted?"

Matoba simply stared.

"You could have asked me." His voice stayed unnaturally calm as sadness spread across his face.

"I answered your question as you asked. Specifically, I answered your question about the short term situation. I could have manipulated you into doing it any time."

Natsume cringed at the words.

"But I grow tired of push after push, Natsume-kun. And I'm sure it is the same for you. It is time you joined us permanently, so that there is no need for exhausting and unnecessary pushing."

Natsume felt everything he said swallow hard down his dry throat. He was so wrong, but this man would never learn, never see things the way Natsume saw them. And the pushing would not stop, it would never stop, not even if he joined forces with him and his clan. But there was still nothing to say. He could not think of a word. He stood, stomach still crying for sustenance, more carefully this time.

"Matoba. I'm leaving this awful place. And you can restrain and force and manipulate all you want, but all you will ever do is push me away. You're right, the pushing is exhausting and unnecessary." And he stepped to the door slowly, slightly unbalanced but with confidence, with strength.

Matoba had it all planned out. He'd had every last detail mapped out in his mind. It was going to create a powerful new exorcist, a powerful new ally. And none of the visions in his head, none of the plans and maps had seen Natsume Takashi with his back to him. He'd thought the death of that youkai would have done it, snapped everything into place. But he'd lost that chance to talk him through it. Instead the boy'd had a panic attack. He could try now.

"It doesn't change what happened," he tilted his head blankly. "You've killed-"

"And it will never again happen so easily." The child looked older, as he turned and opened the door.

Matoba felt the anger in himself now. He was shaking, already losing his composure.

"Get back here!"

Natsume was slightly startled, but it didn't change his courage. He'd never heard the man raise his voice past a mild scolding. He kept walking, the two standing guard watching blankly as the boy supposed to be held captive walked right past them. They looked to their master for orders, slightly stunned.

Matoba stared at Natsume's back in shock. "Bring him back here!" he finally sputtered.

One of the men managed to grab his wrist and pulled on his arm. Natsume pulled back and as a white-robed shiki tried to sneak up behind him an explosion of plaster came to his right. Matoba ran to it as his servants, youkai and human, were showered with debris. The dust was beginning to settle and in its wake was the boy's pet youkai, white and magnificent, with Natsume seated upon his back. And at the sight of Matoba pulling something concealed from his robe, Madara shot towards him, mouth open. Natsume shouted and pulled on his hair, and with that, the beast passed by knocking the man down in the process. His head hurt but when he reached up to feel it, there was no blood, no bruises. He turned and saw them flying away together, already too far to give chase. Then he realized something was wrong. He could see them with two eyes…

Matoba felt his face again, searching for the paper that was supposed to cover it, only to find it missing. Ripped in three pieces on the floor, the beast had grabbed it in its teeth. He picked up the remains and tried frantically to piece them together again. This wasn't good. If that ayakashi had gotten past the barrier then others might be able to.

Matoba shouted at his servants, “Bring me pen and paper!”

He looked all around him as they ran off to do what he’d asked, making sure he was alone. A minute had passed and he found himself cursing the slowness of them, before he felt a presence behind him. He turned and found himself face to face with a demon he’d hoped he’d never have to see again.

"No…" he whispered, as the youkai in front of him charged, reaching for his now uncovered eye.

* * *

 

"Sensei," Natsume whispered. "Where is Hinoe?"

But the giant hadn't heard him with all the wind. Instead of speaking louder, he bent down, and laid his head in the soft fur. Madara glanced back, but unsurprisingly couldn't see him. Instead he felt what seemed to be an embrace. He looked forward once again, taking in the sunset ahead, pushing onward to make it to their home.

They landed on the roof, and Natsume slid slowly off of Madara's back, nearly falling off. Sensei grabbed his shirt in his teeth and pulled.

"Where is-" but Natsume stopped, looking inside the window to his room. She was there in a bed beside his own, waving, surrounded by many more youkai, all of which Natsume recognized. He smiled a bit, and Sensei hopped forward now a cat again, pushing the window up.

"Come on Natsume!" the round fat thing shouted jovially. The boy stepped inside and was greeted in harmony.

"Welcome back Natsume-sama!" they shouted.

He smiled, but couldn't keep the fatigue from reaching his face. He followed Nyanko-sensei to his bed and collapsed onto it.

"Natsume," said Hinoe reaching over to touch his shoulder. "It's good to have you back."

"Thank you Hinoe," he said softly.

"Well we prepared the room for you!" said the one-eyed youkai.

"Yes, yes. Look at the decorations!" said his friend the bull-like youkai.

Natsume looked up and chuckled when he saw a single streamer hanging from his closet.

"I assume you took care of that evil Matoba, Madara," said Hinoe.

Sensei walked between the two. "I was about to swallow him whole, when the twig boy pulled at my hair and I missed."

Natsume smiled.

"Although I think I may have ripped that stupid piece of paper off his face on accident."

"Sensei," Natsume said sternly, though in his heart he felt that nothing else would have stopped him. He almost felt that the man had gotten what he deserved. He frowned.  _No,_  he thought.  _Well, not no_. The man deserved it, but Natsume would not want to wish ill of someone in any case. But his thoughts were once again interrupted by the celebration taking place in his room. They were all there, all there for him, and it lit his heart. But he was so tired, and he was glad when they left. All except Hinoe. But she was asleep when he and Sensei started talking.

"How long was I gone before you got me?" Natsume stared at the ceiling.

"A day. You missed school again."

"And how many days does that make, now?"

"Just two."

 _Just two?_  It felt like longer. Natsume sighed deeply.

"What are you thinking, Natsume?" and Nyanko-sensei waddled over to him from his spot next to Hinoe.

"I don't know. A lot of things, Sensei."

The cat sat down beside him and waited patiently.

"Nyanko-sensei, can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm?" and he tilted his head. "Ask me, Natsume."

"When he had me in that room, he kept talking. The things he was saying were terrible, they were wrong. And I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. I try to help as many as I can, but," Natsume turned over to look at him sadly, "Are there really some people that can never be helped?"

"No one expects you to save everyone."

"But I try so hard. I remember who I used to be, and I imagine if no one had reached out, tried to help me."

"As you said, Natsume. They tried. They could only offer so much, after that, wasn’t it up to you? You are a strange human. You care about humans and youkai, even when they hurt you. And back there at Matoba's mansion, you even tried to save his life."

"You didn't have to listen to me Sensei," he smiled.

He pouted. "I am merely keeping close to the Book of Friends."

Suddenly remembering it, Natsume asked loudly, "Did you get it?"

"Yes," and he pointed his head to the desk.

Relief washed over him. and his head rested back on the soft pillow.

"I wonder if Touko-san has finished dinner," he thought out loud. As if on cue there were footsteps up the stairs.

"Natsume-kun!" came the sweet voice. "Are you hungry?" She popped her head inside holding a tray full of steaming food. The steaming food. This had been what Matoba had tried to do. He hadn't thought of it then, but now it felt odd. Touko brought the tray to Natsume and sat beside him. This food had been made with love, and for a moment it seemed like Matoba, no matter how he'd failed at it, tried to replicate it.

"I hope you're feeling better. Sick for two days, and my famous noodles haven't helped," she chuckled.

"It's alright," said Natsume smiling warmly, "I think I'm starting to feel better."

"Oh good." She rested a delicate hand on his head. "Eat up. You need your strength."

"Twig boy," muttered the cat, and Natsume laughed quietly.

"Fat pig-cat," he said softly in return. And Touko sat with him while the two ate, laughing. Hinoe listening on in sleep.


	10. Bits and Pieces

He returned to school the next day. His friends surrounding him with warmth. They asked where he had been and he replied with the excuse that Nyanko-sensei had given to the Fujiwaras in their lapse of memory.

"I was sick."

Afterwards Tanuma and Taki pulled him off to the side.

"Was it youkai, Natsume?" Tanuma asked.

Takashi swallowed. "Yeah."

"Are you alright," Taki interjected. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"

Natsume froze for a moment, but he looked up with a polite smile. "I'm fine."

Tanuma saw something wrong. "They did hurt you."

He'd hoped he wouldn't have to tell them. He sighed. "Nothing that can't be healed." And it was true. He smiled. Hinoe had given him the medicine, and then ended up receiving some too. And Sensei had listened to him, even if he said nothing, he had listened.

"Can you tell us about it?" asked Taki quietly.

Natsume hesitated. "An exorcist tried to bring me to his side."

"An exorcist? Like Natori?"

"Yes and no. I don't think I'd like to talk about it after all." Natsume hid his eyes under his hair. He thought he could tell them, but the idea of repeating the things that had been done to him was nauseating, and he couldn't bear to see his friend's faces more worried than they already were.

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and Natsume looked up. "Tanuma…" he said softly.

"When you're ready, we're here for you." He smiled, and pulled his arm away as the bell went off.

"Thank you." He turned to head for class but a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled. He gasped at first, but then realized it was only Taki pulling him into a hug. Surprised, his heart still beating rapidly, he hugged back. "Thank you," he said again, and they went to class.

* * *

 

Natsume was distracted all day. He thought about the room and the youkai and then Matoba, and the food and the pillow. He thought about the village Matoba had talked about, with the poisoned water. He did not want to help Matoba, but he couldn't just abandon a whole village.

 _Tap tap tap_. Natsume looked up from his seat in his last class of the day.

"AAh!" He shouted jumping up.

"Yes Natsume?" asked the teacher. "You know the answer?"

Natsume sat down despite the huge youkai floating outside his window.

"I want it back!" it kept saying.

"Ugh. Sorry, sensei."

The teacher once again faced the board, when the bell went off.

Natsume sighed in relief.

"Give it back!" It said louder and he rushed outside passed a worried Kitamoto and Nishimura.

No sooner had he stepped foot on the pavement was he pulled into a bush.

"Give me back my name, boy!" yelled the mountain-like youkai wearing what appeared to be a wreath on its forehead.

"Can we go somewhere else first?"

"Do it now!" it said impatiently.

Natsume huffed and pulled out the Book of Friends. Hopefully no one would notice. He called for the name and pulled it out of the book and into his mouth.

The youkai looked indifferent as it accepted its name back, and when it was done, vanished without a word.

Natsume saw the empty space in front of him and sighed tiredly. It hadn't even said thank you. He felt sad.  _They can be so cruel_. And then he realized he was not just thinking about this youkai.  _No_ , he thought strongly,  _not all youkai are like that_. Not all youkai are like that.

Natsume finally stood with great effort and walked his way home.

When he made it back, he found Sensei, but no Hinoe.

"She was feeling better," Sensei told him.

And he started working on the homework he'd missed over the last few days. Sensei found him sleeping on top of it not two hours later and gingerly put a blanket over him.

What that stupid man had told him exactly Natsume didn't say, but Sensei could see it was taking its toll.  _Humans are so fragile_ , he thought.

But suddenly Sensei perked his head up. There was something in the air, and he knew immediately what it was. Natsume hadn't noticed, still knocked out from exhaustion. Sensei opened the window and peeked out, but saw nothing. It didn't matter if his eyes could not help him, he knew Matoba was there.

He hopped outside onto the roof and sniffed the air. But then he heard a slam behind him. The window had been shut and a piece of paper glued across it.

Sensei turned into his other form and flew towards the window, hoping he wouldn't just crash into it, but he did anyway.

Matoba stood ominously in the doorway. He had to find another way in.

* * *

 

"Mm," Natsume stirred, and he found a bit of drool soaked into the paper underneath him. "I fell asleep-"

"Hello Natsume-kun."

Natsume turned suddenly, knowing what stood behind him. He crawled backwards against the wall.

There was Matoba, and instead of the usual paper seal that covered his eye was now a bandage.

"That was a clever trick, you pulled Natsume-kun. But don't worry. All is forgiven. I am here simply as a friend."

Looking around the room, he realized they were alone. "What have you done to Sensei? Where is he?"

"He is probably out getting drunk, isn't he? But it's better this way. No interruptions. We wouldn't want a repeat of last time." Matoba pointed to his bandage.

"Please Matoba. Just leave me alone." Natsume searched for courage inside himself, but found only fear. His voice faltered as he tried to speak. Not even his home was safe anymore.

"I'm only here to tell you something. I'm not going to hurt you," he added seeing the boy shake. And he didn't answer.

Matoba frowned. "The village is called Marahito. The one I told you about. If you still want to help."

Natsume felt his body relax slightly. He couldn't figure Matoba out. The look on his face was not the cold one he'd learned, but something else.

"You don't have to trust me. You can go find out for yourself if you must."

Natsume just sat there, and Matoba turned and left through the door. Madara flew through the doorway.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Natsume managed a small nod, but Madara did not trust it. He flew back out of the room and growled at a retreating Matoba. "What have you done to him?" his deep voice rumbled.

"Nothing cat. I merely talked to him."

"Sensei," came a voice from behind him. "It's alright. Let him go."

Sensei looked back at Natsume, and the look on his face was firm. Reluctantly, he turned back into his cat form and they watched him leave.


	11. The Village

Matoba sat at his desk pretending to work. The doctor had come in his study again, looking to check on his eye, but the man yelled him away.

"Do not enter my study without my permission."

"But sir, I have to-"

"Leave. Now," Matoba seethed.

The doctor winced and left.

 _Natsume Takashi,_  he thought, and put his hand gently to the bandage. Though a visit from the doctor might have helped the pain he did not want to be bothered now. Not in the middle of his thoughts.

"Seiji," said Nanase from the doorway. He turned, making sure she saw the right side of his face, and gave an unsettling smile. "Yes?"

She was unfazed. "I see you took care of any problems with the law, but I don't see Natsume Takashi anywhere."

He closed his eyes and smiled further. "He is helping me now."

"Really? What did you tell him?"

Matoba just looked at her.

"Hm. But will he help with our next project, or the one after that?"

Matoba's expression faltered very slightly, and had it not been Nanase watching it, she wouldn't have noticed.

"The boy doesn't have any scars, does he?" she asked maliciously, and had it not been Matoba, he wouldn't have noticed either.

"No visible ones."

"Good. This project has taken up quite a bit of time and I'd hate to see it go to waste, let alone cause us problems."

"It has not gone to waste," Matoba grinned again, and this time the twisted happiness reached his eyes, "I guarantee it."

* * *

 

"Natsume you stupid, stupid twig boy!"

"Come on, Sensei. You're lagging,"

Sensei jumped on Natsume's shoulder and started hitting his head. "Of course I am! We should stay out of this! It's a trap I tell you!"

Natsume just shook his head as they walked from the bus stop to the village.

"That Matoba's up to something, Natsume. Until we know what it is we shouldn't poke our noses into things."

"I agree," he replied.

Madara gawked at him. "WAAAHH?"

"He is up to something. I don't think he would just help someone for free. But we can't wait to find out why. People could die."

"Hmph," was all the cat said.

When they finally reached the small village, they found hardly anyone in the streets.

"This can't be good," said Natsume, half talking to himself.

"Maybe we could talk to a-"

"Spirit-san!" shouted Natsume.

Nyanko-sensei tackled him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to try to talk to him. Spirit-san!"

"Shut up!"

But then, to the side both saw a shadow walk by. They turned their heads to find the shadow was gone. Looking at each other very briefly, Natsume jumped up and started towards where he thought he'd seen it.

But before he got very far he almost ran into someone. It was a woman holding a sleeping boy.

"Sorry!" he shouted before realizing that he shouldn't in front of the child, and covered his mouth.

"Don't worry, he won't wake up for a while. You must be Natsume Takashi." Her voice sounded hopeful as she cradled her son in her arms.

"Yes…" He replied suspiciously. "How do you know who I am?"

"Oh, an exorcist told us you were coming to help us."

Natsume and Sensei exchanged glances.

"Is your cat going to help too?" she asked.

"I guess you could say that," still bothered by the fact that Matoba had told her this.

"Hopefully you can cleanse the area. My son, Kyou, has gotten sick. And nearly half of the rest of our village as well."

"I'm sorry. I'll see what I can do about it."

The woman smiled gratefully. "Thank you so much. Please work as fast as you can, exorcist-san."

Natsume shook his hands out in front of him. "No-no-no, I'm not an exorcist."

"Oh, excuse me. Good luck then." She bowed politely and went back to her house just a few steps away.

And they continued as they had before the interruption.

"I don't like this…" muttered Nyanko-sensei, and Natsume did not reply. Yes there was unease in the pit of his stomach, but he would not admit it to Sensei after dragging him out here.  _Just focus_ , he thought,  _find the youkai, try to talk to it. If that doesn't work… well we'll get to that later_.

They walked down the street, and found nothing out of the ordinary except the fact that things were very quiet besides the indistinct mumblings of a TV or quiet conversations from inside passing houses.

"There!" shouted Natsume as the shadow passed by again. It had gone in someone's yard and they followed, reaching the house just in time to see it phase through the fence. Nyanko-sensei transformed and shouted, "Get on my back Natsume."

They flew off towards it, though it was becoming slower and they caught up quickly. Madara landed in front of it and Natsume slid off.

The youkai stopped, and Natsume could see how very old it looked. Wrinkled and spectacled it stared at the two of them.

"We came to ask you why you are poisoning the water of this village," asked Natsume, realizing that this creature did not look fierce or mean-spirited at all.

"Poison?" asked the youkai in return, holding his arms together in front of him beneath the long sleeves of his robe.

"Is it not you?"

The youkai looked down grievously. "I'm afraid that's not the case," he looked up again, "I am sick. It's an illness that causes my skin to emit a substance that is unfortunately quite harmful to humans." He pulled his arms from inside the robe, and his hands were ashen. "I thought if I stayed far enough away the humans would be fine. But then I was hungry and thirsty. Not simply the kind that you are used to youkai," he turned to Madara, "But perhaps this is how humans feel when desperate for nourishment." Now he was looking at Natsume. "I stole food and fresh water. And I contaminated their supply. I can apologize, but it seems it will do me no good." The youkai looked down once more. This was not the monstrous youkai Matoba had told him about.

"It can do you no harm either," Natsume smiled at him. The youkai looked up at the boy's words.

"Thank you human."

"My name is Natsume."

"And I am Yama."

Madara perked his ears. "Yama? That name sounds familiar. Natsume, do you have the Book of Friends with you?"

"The Book of Friends? You aren't Reiko, are you?"

"No. Reiko was my grandmother."

"She has since passed on," added Madara.

Natsume opened the Book of Friends and called the name. The page stood up on end.

"I met Reiko when she was young. I told her about my illness, and she offered me medicine in exchange for my name. I gladly gave it to her. She was nice to me."

"I suppose the medicine didn't work then," asked Natsume.

"No. Human medicine does not work on this I suppose. But it has been steadily getting worse. I think I am becoming more and more human by the minute."

"Well I'm going to give you your name back. Maybe that will help."

Yama smiled and his glasses glinted in the sunlight. "Thank you Natsume-sama. You are kind like your Grandmother."

And with that he pulled the page out and clapped, blowing the name back. "Thank you Natsume-sama," Yama grinned.

"Hmph," said the now lying down giant.

But something changed in the youkai. He had stopped smiling and was now looking down at his hands.

"Ah-a-" he gasped, shaking.

"Yama-san! What's wrong?" asked Natsume and Madara shot his head up.

"I-I-ah-"

Natsume ran to him and rested a hand on his shoulder, but the shoulder was no longer a shoulder, it was crumbling beneath his fingers.

"Yama-san!"

The youkai was turning to ash and falling to the ground in pieces, trying to scream but unable to.

"Sensei! What's going on?" he shouted.

Madara was standing and watching in horror at the dying youkai.

"It is because you gave back its name."

Natsume and Madara snapped their heads to the left.  _That voice_. Takashi jumped in front of Yama at the sight of Matoba, surprised, though he knew he should not be.

"Matoba…" he whispered.

"Thank you for helping me, Natsume-kun. My clan will be given great honor for the defeat of that youkai."

"What did you do?" Natsume could not help it, but he found himself crying.

"I cursed your Book of Friends. Any name you return from now on will result in that youkai's death. It seems this is the second."

"Damn exorcist!" shouted Madara, and Matoba quickly replied, but Natsume didn't hear. He couldn't hear anything. His heart was racing, and he felt breath become harder and harder to find. Yama was dead, his ashes lay on the ground behind him.

"Natsume, I'm eating him, I'm serious this time."

The words blurred in the boy's ears. He could hardly see the ground he was looking at. Madara didn't hear a response and flew towards the man who pulled out his bow and shot the beast in the chest. Natsume finally snapped out of it at the cry that echoed from Sensei.

"NO!" he screamed and ran to Sensei who had turned back into his cat form and fell to the ground. "SENSEI!"

He held the cat in his arms and bent over him.

"That youkai's ashes when sprinkled in the water will give those people a cure."

"Sensei-" he choked. There was nothing else.  _His friend_ … "I hate you!" He shouted.

Matoba stepped back slightly.

" _I hate you!_ " he said again, hugging Sensei to his chest.

"I won't be taking you with me. I won't be kidnapping you or hurting your friends anymore. I am going to simply leave you with this. A powerful book that you can no longer waste, and a powerful enemy you would have otherwise kept right under your nose. Consider them gifts. This will not be our last meeting, Natsume-kun. Until next time." And Matoba turned and began to leave.

"I hate you!" he repeated.

He turned slowly and found the boy holding onto his pet with angry tears streaming down his face.

"You want revenge? Call upon your youkai. You own them."

The words only made him cry harder. Closing his eyes and sobbing he leaned over Sensei, holding him in his arms.

“Let’s go,” Matoba said to his servants. And they left the boy there without another word.


	12. Home Again

Natsume carried the unmoving youkai home. He had stopped sobbing, but the tears never stopped flowing down his cheeks. Each moment there was the hope that his friend would wake and then the disappointment when he didn’t. When they finally got home the sun was beginning to set, and he went straight upstairs and laid down. He pet Sensei’s ear like the fat cat always used to like it, and fell asleep with him in his arms.

* * *

 

Natsume awoke to the sound of Touko and Shigeru announcing their arrival back home. He groggily opened his eyes.

“Takashi-kun we’re back from our night out! We brought you dinner!” she called from downstairs.

He barely even had time to answer that he would be a moment before the memories of what had transpired earlier that day flooded back to him and he began crying again. But then he realized something. There was no soft fat cushion lying next to him anymore.

“Natsume…” came the solemn voice to his left.

But he recognized that voice. “Sensei?...” he said softly.

There was his friend, sitting in front of his desk looking down at something lying on top of it.

“Sensei!” he shouted and pulled him into an embrace.

“Gahh! What are you doing?” the pig cat shouted.

“Sensei I thought you were dead,” he said closing his eyes tightly.

“It’ll take more than one of that idiot’s silly arrows to kill me. But… look…”

Natsume finally looked down at what the cat had been staring at and slowly set him down. It was a handwritten note, signed Matoba.

Natsume read it over frowning, and Madara waited patiently as he finished.

Once done, the boy looked back to Sensei and a smile appeared on his face.

"You idiot," Sensei blushed, "What are you smiling for?"

And with that Takashi scooped up the youkai, his bodyguard, his friend, and hugged tightly once again.

"Ahhh! Stop doing that!" came his muffled cries.

"I missed you Sensei…" he replied quietly, eyes beginning to water. And the cat stopped squirming. He seemed almost surprised, but soon pushed his head further into Natsume's shoulder.

“Come on, dinner’s waiting!” And he pulled Madara down the stairs.

* * *

 

"What do we do about that letter?" asked Madara with a full mouth. Natsume had just finished eating, though Sensei could have eaten enough for two more.

"We'll deal with it when it comes to us. Right now I just want to enjoy peace and quiet." He looked back at the pig cat noisily gobbling down more food.

"Well maybe not quiet."

Upstairs the note still lay on his desk, against Sensei's opinion of getting rid of it. It might tell us something we don't know, Natsume said.

_Dear Natsume Takashi-kun,_

_As I said, I will not be kidnapping you again. You do not have to look behind your back, except perhaps for youkai hungry for power and blood. As I cannot simply force you do something like join my clan, it seems that force is not the right option at the moment. But do not think I have given up on you. Rather the opposite. You are part of a plan much bigger than you realize, and by the time you find out when and how it all happened, it will already be to late for you to change your mind. Enjoy your Book of Friends in the meantime. I'm sure it will be of great use to you and myself someday._

_Matoba Seiji_

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a sequel, which in my opinion is much better written so thank you for putting up with my poor writing in this one. The premise will be Natsume and Sensei trying to find out how to remove the curse from the Book of Friends.  
> That's all for now folks! Thank you for all the kind words, subscriptions, bookmarks and kudos!


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